What better time is there for the honoring of long-held traditions than at one's wedding? It is a time of family, celebration, and the joining together of two families. This momentous occasion in life is marked by many rituals that we are familiar with, such as the carrying of the bride over the threshold, the clinking of glasses to get the happy couple to kiss at the reception, and the bride walking down the aisle with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. And these are only a few of the many traditions that come along with getting married. That is, in the west.
What better time is there for the honoring of long-held traditions than at one's wedding? It is a time of family, celebration, and the joining together of two families. This momentous occasion in life is marked by many rituals that we are familiar with, such as the carrying of the bride over the threshold, the clinking of glasses to get the happy couple to kiss at the reception, and the bride walking down the aisle with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
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And these are only a few of the many traditions that come along with getting married. That is, in the west. Around the world, however, marriage customs are taken to a level that Americans would consider a little cuckoo.
Varying religious beliefs, culture, and history have produced very different sorts of traditions when it comes to a wedding. For example, in Mauritania, brides are often force-fed to become fatter for their weddings, because there, a large wife is said to signify prosperity in a marriage.
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And in Kenya, the bride's father spits on her face and breasts before she leaves with her new husband. Walking away with him, she cannot look back, or it is believed she will turn to stone.
These are two examples of African wedding traditions, and they get all the stranger when it comes to the post-wedding festivities Speaking of the wedding night and consummation of the marriage specifically, the practices of many African nations and tribes would be thought of as downright weird in the West.
Universally, the first night as bride and groom is known for one thing, and one thing only: consummating the marriage. This special time for newlyweds is thus the perfect time for families, friends, and the couple, themselves, to add the last bit of tradition to the day.
And sometimes, those traditions can only be described as WTF, especially on the continent of Africa. The following are 15 of them.
Amongst the Northern African Berber people, who are indigenous to the area, there is quite the communal consummation of marriage.
By this I mean that a couple will consummate their marriage either alone, or possibly with other newly-married couples in a shared wedding chamber. They use the community experience to learn the art of love-making and get accustomed to one another, since many of the newlyweds have not been acquainted for long. The new husband and wife will stay together with all the couples for five days, and it is on the last day that the newlyweds are shown off to the village.
Having worn a veil at the ceremony, the bride's veil is lifted by her new husband for all to see. The bedsheets from their first night as a married couple is also presented to the village to prove that the bride was a virgin before the wedding.
In Swahili culture, arranged marriages are the norm, and typically the bride and the groom do not even see one another until the night they are to be married. In an older practice but not one that is unheard of in modern timesthe bride would be given a so-called "marriage mentor", or somo.
This woman, perhaps an older female relative who has already taken part in training the bride on how to be a good wife part of the pre-wedding preparationwill sleep under the matrimonial bed while the newlyweds consummate their marriage.
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This is done to ensure the bride is not resistant to the consummation. Then, later, this marriage mentor can confirm that the consummation has taken place, a witness of sorts, and she will take a piece of the bed linens to show the other women the virgin blood.
Finally, the newlyweds can be alone, and they remain isolated together for a period of seven days. In a Zulu wedding, the highlight of the entire ceremony is often the dance competition that takes place between the family of the bride and the family of the groom.
It is a ceremonial dance that signifies the transition of the bride from her own family into that of her new husband's. At some point during the dance, which is performed during the wedding ceremony, the bride does a little dance all on her own, during which she kicks her leg high with the specific purpose of showing her mother that she is a virgin.
That must be one very high and long kick, and that mother must have a very keen eye!
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This begs the question of whether the bride wears no undergarments to her wedding, or if she removes them just for the dance? Either way, it is quite peculiar and I would love to see a bride perform this move, and determine just how the mother can be sure her little girl is "pure".
Now here is one scenario that would definitely not be at the top of my list of things to do just after I get married. In the Southwestern African country of Namibia, known for its significant etah population, the wedding ceremony is typically followed by a visit to the bride's father's house.
There, she is told by the family what her responsibilities as a wife will be.
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And after that, she is anointed with butterfat from cows, symbolizing that she is part of a new family, and has been accepted into it. This is a far cry from the usual wedding night we think of- which involves a lot less people and a lot less butterfat from cows. Interestingly, before the wedding and this post-wedding ritual, the bride in these Himba weddings is "kidnapped" and dressed in a leather marriage headdress, like the one being worn by the woman in the photo above, who is part of the Himba tribe.
In the Shona culture, the tradition of the wedding night begins even before the wedding!
The bride decides when it is time for the ceremony, and on the night that she does, she and her female relatives walk through the village once it becomes dark outside. She is dressed from head to toe in white, and as she approas her future husband's home, his family will ululate and dance in celebration. The groom is told his bride has arrived, and often he had no clue until that moment when the wedding would happen. This is to test how he and his family will deal with an "emergency" situation.
The bride eventually ends up at her mother-in-law's house where she is encouraged to take off her veil, the first time her in-laws ever see their new daughter-in-law.
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A big party commences and lasts into the next day. The Banyankole people of Uganda in East Africa have some interesting wedding traditions.
First of all, the marriage must be consummated at the groom's house specifically. But before the couple can get things going in the bedroom, the bride's aunt must perform a "potency test" on her niece's groom; that is to say, she must have sex with him to make sure he is able to perform.
It is also done to confirm his virginity I do not understand how, but whatever. It is thought of as a sort of "sexual ck", and while I do not know why it is the aunt who has the task of performing it, that is how they roll in southwestern Uganda.
So after the ceremony and a feast, the aunt gets into bed with her niece and new nephew-in-law, and the marriage becomes official. Some traditions say it is the aunt's gift to her niece to instruct her and guide her in the art of lovemaking.
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This can even include demonstrations! In the North African country of Tunisia, some of the old traditions regarding the wedding night are still practiced, such as the newlyweds showing off the blood of their sheets to prove the bride remained a virgin until marriage.
Along those lines is another tradition they sometimes still practice. The groom will light a candle after consummating the marriage, and it can be seen from outside so that everyone knows his bride bled and was, therefore, a virgin up until that very evening.
How awkward would that be, knowing that just outside, everyone you know and love is waiting to either judge you for not being a virgin, or find out that you were?
And what if a woman was a virgin, but didn't bleed? That is a lot of pressure, and would definitely take away from a pleasant wedding night. If you are getting married in Morocco, you'd better hope your future wife's bridesmaids are easy on the eyes, because they just might be present during the post-wedding festivities.
After being married at the ceremony, a Moroccan bride will be carried through the crowd into her bridal chamber, where she is aided in preparing for her wedding night. Her bridesmaids, their duty not over just yet, will verify that she is a virgin don't ask me howand then they might stick around to witness the loss of her virginity by her new husband.
Traditions and rituals of African tribes
South African girls preparing to undergo virginity testing ritual. Photo credit: Journalis miziko.
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